I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
