yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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