I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
This is not my ceiling
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
