I feel like I'm in dance class right now
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
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