My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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