That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
