I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
