Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
