your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
