he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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