By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
