Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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