Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
