butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
