Just mADE A PArabola og urine
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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