i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
