We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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