no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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