thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
