Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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