I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
