another moral hangover. fuck.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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