I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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