Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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