After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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