North Korea, Best Korea!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize