that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
