Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
