I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you will always have a special place in my vag
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
