I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
