She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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