this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
