FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you never un-have a 4some
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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