she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
