if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Randomize