a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just want to make out with him forever
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
