you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
A+ Viking dick
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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