I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When are your genitals available?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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