New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
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