My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
