Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She announced her abortion via fbk
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
