He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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