dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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