It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
