john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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