You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
