you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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