I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
