so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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