Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
