I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
