I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
