Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
