I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How naked do you want me to be?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
