grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
