the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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