Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
