You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
